An Open Letter to Mom:
We need to talk. Last night you did something very, very rude. I know that Toby was having a yak attack on the bed in the wee hours, but snatching the barf towel you keep on it WHILE I was occupying it was unacceptable.
Yes, I understand there wasn't time to be polite and ask me to move - so you say - but I'm afraid I just can't accept this action lightly. I will consider the mitigating circumstances carefully, as I am a very fair ladycat, and render a final judgment later.
For now, go and think carefully about what you've done and how to be a better hoomin in the future. I leave you with the most painful punishment I can devise:
The dreaded Back of Disrespect.