Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Mom Has a Question

Sometimes I wonder - did I make a mistake raising Toby? He was about 4 weeks old when he came into my life on a cold October day, dirty, oil covered and very, very loud. My first clear memory of him was looking down at him in the box, his head thrown back and his mouth wide, complaining very vigorously about his lot in life to date. I think he knew, even then, he was destined for luxury and personal staff. And darn it, he wanted to fast forward to that part.

He was there when I had to let Mina go to the Bridge; he climbed onto me while I cried and snuggled close. In some ways I think he absorbed the love I had/have for Mina, so I really love him for two cats. I was there for him a few months later when he had his hoohaectomy. That was rough on him. He was upset, hurting; I brought him home and held him close. He fell asleep with his arms around my neck.

It amazes me that a creature as big as Toby can be so hypersensitive. Leia is much braver than he. And that is the problem. When the kittens were in here last year, he had a very bad time with that. Pulled his fur right out on his hip. I know that when one is pulled too young from the mom, that creates other problems. Yet, I've known others like that, and they are pretty resilient beings.

I've given him, and Leia, a great deal of love and attention. I will never believe I give them "too much" yet I have to ask - is there a way to help him be stronger? He and I are actually very alike, emotionally. Did I rub off on him somehow?


  1. "Did I rub off on him somehow?"

    That we don't know. Does it really matter? Toby is his wonderful Self, regardless of how or why. :-)

    Of the three of us, crabby Annie is the one who is tuned into the mom the most. She's been with her the longest, through some very dark times, and she always knows when the mom is upset.

    But we all three have our "issues," as did Chumley before us. That's just part and parcel of living, we guess. Especially when one has had a rough start in life.

  2. I agree with Kea. Whatever the reason for Toby's sensitive nature, he's just being himself. :)

    One of our cats, Moosey, is also very sensitive. In that way, he's a LOT like our angel cat Graphite. Graphite always had a way of knowing when we were upset or sad; he'd stick to us like glue if he sensed we needed it. Moosey does the same. Unfortunately, he also does that pulling out the fur thing when he's upset...

  3. I think Toby might very well be your "soul kitty" since he shares your nature.

    A cat, dog, whatever are like children. You can raise children in the same house, same parents and they are all totally different from each other.

    We are all born with a basic "package" of how we are "wired" Toby is just different from Leia and that is what makes him "Toby!"


  4. I would think there might be some books on how to give kitties more self esteem, or confidence. I'm sure your love is only good for him.

  5. Certain humans (um, mainly the male human here) claims I am neurotic and a tad grouchy and diva-like because I take after my human. So I'm afraid I can't answer your question!

  6. Toby's a softy like my little Target. Just enjoy!

  7. My Ashton is sort of like your Toby. I found him at the Seed store at the age of about five weeks. He also pulls his fur if nervous. He mews and talks to me all the time. He's kind of like a kitten still. Change is hard for him. He does not like it at all. Will lick himself. I have to be with him or check in with him.

    And, it's not spoiling them .. it's treating them the way all animals should be. Thus, I do it for all of those who don't have love.

  8. He sounds like a very special kitty cat! Of course it was the right thing for you to raise him! He needs you and you need him.

  9. Oh I do love a good rags to riches story-I myself have one to tell. It can cause anxiety though-the fear of returning to the streets has never quite left me despite my very comfortable padded lifestyle.

  10. I'm a big guy too and I'm very sensitive. Mom calls me skittish. I was adopted when I was just a little guy about 8 weeks old and I've always had plenty of love, food and attention, but as big as I am, I'm scared of almost everything. It's just who I am and Toby is just who he is.

    Max S.