for we have failed. We were ... were... INFILTRATED!
And it all happened through our mom, no less. She brought home this mat tonight - with a great big BURD in the middle.
And why? Why???? Because it was cheap! Only $4.
(Plus she was insulting, said I was just going to yak up on it anyway.
It's true we never seem to keep any mats around for long, but still.)
Forgive us, Codd Mother. We are so ashamed.