Monday, January 27, 2020

The First Year

Toby and Leia, 2004-2018

As January closes out, I am reminded that I should do some kind of memorial.
The truth is, I don't want to. I don't want to remember that they are gone forever.

Their passings took big chunks out of me, that I will never get back.
We grew older, together, over the years; I'm not the same person that I was then.
They were my family. Our daily lives were so interwined. In many ways they were my North Star.

I live with their absence every day. The emptiness is almost worse than the active pain was.

I loved you both. I love you still. Now and forever and always.


  1. Very sweet tribute to Toby and Leia. They were such special kitties and I know they are watching over you. XO

  2. My human understands too. The only reason did she a big memorial service on the blog for Sparkle in 2014 was because she had so many fans and readers. She really would have preferred not to have had to do that.

  3. I understand. The pain and the emptiness never goes. It is so hard to know that you can't pick them up and give them a kiss and a cuddle and to yearn for the time they were still here. (((hugs)))

  4. I understand 100%, more if possible and I, and others, feel that pain with you. And for you as well. It is an emptiness that can't be denied or ignored. They are entwined with us every fiber. We have friends, work, etc. But the people aren't with us every minute of the day. Our furs are. They are deeply loved and cherished.

  5. My heart breaks for you, and though your loss is your own to bear, I understand the grief. I remember a blog comment years ago, to the effect that we never get over the loss, we only become accustomed to the absence in our daily lives.

    Thinking of you and sending hugs and Light.

  6. Sending you hugs and purrs as you remember. We are in the very early days of losing our Angel, and it's surreal...and very painful.

    1. I'm so sorry about Angel. I remember that surreal feeling all too well, especially after Toby left.

  7. Oh I understand the emptiness after losing fur family members. The hole can never be filled when you love them so much. Toby and Leia, and their memories are a very special part of your life. Sending warm hugs to you.

  8. You've had such a difficult year. ��

  9. I've missed Leia's sweet face! If only we could keep them with us forever. Thinking of you and sending you hugs.

  10. Toby and Leia were so, so special, and so very much loved. I wish they could have lived forever there with you. Sending you much love, and gentle purrs and prayers. XO

  11. Toby and Leia knew great love and devotion with you and returned their love every day. Your words are full of a memorial to your north stars.
    Hugs cecilia

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